Date Night, to be honest, can be a real drag…I get it. You’re busy. In a life that is packed with Important Things, when you have down-time you just want to chill. For many couples that means that Date Night is relegated to special celebrations (birthdays, anniversaries, events) and doesn’t have a place in their regular routine.
It can also be a special kind of annoying when the love-of-your-life has little or no demonstrated interest in booking or planning said date night. So it slides. And before you know it, the time you do spend together is filled with “the rego is due next week, I’m out of clean undies, and it’s your turn to cook dinner”. Logistics. Not sexy.
The thing is, Date Night doesn’t have to be a huge production. It doesn’t need to cost money, take much planning, or even require a lot of time. In only one night per month you can completely transform the quality of your relationship and reap the benefits that come with that;
Increase your commitment to each other.
It is really easy to say that you are committed to your relationship, but how do you demonstrate that? Many couples say they would “do anything for each other”, but when it comes to the crunch they can’t find the time for a monthly date night. For reals? Making the time for your relationship says to your partner “you are my top priority”.
I advocate the calendar approach, schedule a monthly appointment for a special night out. Make it easy and recurring – the first Tuesday of the month – and make it sacred.
For Jimmy T and I this has revolutionised our relationship, especially on the days when we are both tired and would prefer to switch off and watch Netflix. With him working away most of the week, our time together has become even more precious. When we really lean in to the effort it takes to step up and be intimate & connected on those days, the rewards are tangible.
Raise happy, confident, and thriving children.
Many people believe that their children should be #1 in their lives. Nope, nope, nope.
Happy, confident and thriving children come from homes where their parents demonstrate love & care for each other. That means carving out time just for the two of you and teaching the children how important that is. It means being visibly affectionate – hugging and kissing. And it means making time for the two of you to enjoy each other as adults and individuals, outside of your roles as parents.
When you prioritise your relationship, the family will follow.Even more than that, your children learn from you what “relationship” means. They will attract the partner who treats them the way that you treat each other, regardless of what you think you are teaching them. Their love life will reflect your married life. Make that matter.
Reconnect & feel truly loved.
Couples who play together, stay together. It’s crazy how many couples stop having fun once they begin adulting. Date Night starts to mean dinner at the club, or a night at the movies. So, yeah, that’s okay every now and then, but are you having FUN?
Statistically, couples who spend time learning new skills, trying new activities, and expanding their horizons together, have a deeper connection and are far more likely to stay together. Life is short, have fun!
I recommend mixing it up so that once a month you do something new & interesting, and perhaps in between have a lower key date to stay connected.
Maintain your friendship.
It’s super easy to presume that after all the years you have been together, that you know everything there is to know. And sometimes that’s true. If so, you’re both stagnating. I believe that your life is either green & growing, or ripe & rotting. That is, if you’re not growing and changing then you have given up.
In a relationship, we often forget to check in as our partners grow & evolve. What is the impact of that on their thoughts? dreams? desires? opinions? Do they now like different things? Dislike things they once liked? Want to try something new? Wish they could stop doing something old? Date Night is the perfect opportunity to really engage with each other and explore those changes. And if you’re doing it right, you’ll fall in love all over again.
Not having as much sex as you’d like? Do you feel like you are not heard, respected, or understood? I’m going to take a punt and guess that you’ve fallen off the Date Night wagon…So often couples look to increase intimacy at the bedroom door, and forget that it’s found in the small daily and weekly routines of your lives. This one simple change can create huge ripples in your relationship as friends, creators, and especially as lovers.