Change the story you tell about conflict. An experiment with 120 married hetero couples found this exercise not only increased marital satisfaction, but the cumulative effect was that their fights were becoming less distressing;
- Write a summary of the most significant fight you had in the last 3 months.
- Imagine a neutral third person who wants the best for both of you saw the fight. How would they describe it?
- What is a positive aspect to this fight?
- What might get in the way of you seeing this neutral perspective in future conflicts? How will you keep that from happening?
- Schedule this journal exercise in your calendar to repeat every 3 months.
Remember: Take your time to work through this program. It's what you do today that matters.
The cumulative effect of small actions over time creates true intimacy & connection.