I was going to write a thing, then I read what I wrote last year and still wholeheartedly feel that way, so here it is again…
I frequently work with couples who tell me that they don’t need a particular day to celebrate their love, that they can do it any day. They also tell me that they don’t need to buy gifts, or act romantically, or even say “I love you” because they just know how much each other mean.
And yeah, you know, I agree. There is no need for a special day, but who are you making the point to? It always seems to me to be a particularly pointed act of solidarity against each other, proving nothing. It seems to me that Very Specifically Not Celebrating each other on that day is really cutting off your nose to spite your face. But, whatevs.
Every year I am asked “Tara, are you pro Valentine’s Day?”
When I was 20 and bolshie as hell I would say “fuck no!”
But really I wished that my boyfriend saw through my rebel exterior and wanted to wine and dine me. This is not to say others feel that way. I did.
When I was 30 I would say “hells NO! Commercial load of shite…” And still I felt a little bit extra sad on the day that we were Very Specifically Not Celebrating. This is not to say others feel that way. I did.
I’ll be 40 this year, and it is one of my favourite days. Along with all of the other favourite days that we celebrate, because Jimmy T and I actively seek reasons to romance each other. We have multiple anniversaries, and celebrate annual milestones from the sublime to the ridiculous. It’s a weird and gross combination of saccharine, foolish, and achingly wonderful.
SOMETIMES I AM AGAINST: I agree! The establishment are trying to steal your monies! It’s a rort! No presents or dinners or any of the things! Your Facebook feed makes me vomit!
ALSO: It’s so romantic! I love Valentine’s Day! I love love! I love seeing all the lovers being all loved up! Your Instagram feed fills my heart with joy!
There is no real answer to this, and no amount of Top 10 Reasons that you Should or Shouldn’t will prove otherwise. So here’s what I really reckon:
If you or your partner, in any way, shape, or form, feel like celebrating Valentine’s Day would be a Nice Thing, then DO IT. No one else will know nor care. Wake up and look in each other’s smiling eye’s and say “Fuck I love you!” then have a beautiful breakfast together. Post it on Instagram, and maybe go to the café with love heart pancakes and champagne. (because : CHAMPAGNE!) Do presents, or not. Do dinner, or not. Do whatever makes it special to you. Or not.
If you and your partner, in any way, shape, or form, feel strongly about NOT celebrating Valentine’s Day, then DON’T DO IT. No one else will know nor care. Wake up and look in each other’s smiling eyes, and say “Fuck I love you!” then have a beautiful breakfast together. Don’t post it on Instagram, or buy it from the café with love heart pancakes and champagne. (even though – CHAMPAGNE!) Do presents, or not. Do dinner, or not. Do whatever makes it special to you. Or not.
TL;DR Do what makes you happy, sunshine. It’s your life!
Happy Valentine’s Day, Lovers!