WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP COACHING?
I take an experiential approach, incorporating embodiment practices alongside curious conversations to guide couples & individuals to discover their own unique dynamics. What that means is that within each session we combine introspective dialogue, with pattern identification & insights, followed by practices & home experiments to explore creative solutions.
The relationship coaching methods I use are influenced & informed by the following therapeutic approaches;
- Gottman Method Couples Therapy
- Instant Insight Communication Systems™
- The Client Code™
- DISC Behavioural Profiling
- Neuro-Linguistic Programming
- Emotion-Focused Therapy
- Relational Dialectics
- Micro Activism
HOW IS RELATIONSHIP COACHING DIFFERENT TO MARRIAGE COUNSELLING?
Relationship coaching shares many of the same tools & techniques that are used in traditional counselling or marriage therapy.
The key difference is the training of each practitioner, the school of therapy that informs their approach, and the requirements of professional bodies for registration and supervision. In Australia, coaching does not have a regulating body, nor requirements for registration or supervision.
Having said that, my commitment to professionalism and high standards means that I continually participate in ongoing education, and seek out mentoring from professionals in this space.
HOW LONG IS A PROGRAM?
I only have one package that I offer, which is 3 months and includes 6 sessions plus online resources and email support.
This package has a combination of both couple, and individual sessions. A typical program looks like this. There is plenty of flexibility in terms of time for delivery to account for the usual logistics challenges of life!
There are a few reasons I do it this way;
- Working with clients in a session-to-session way creates loaded vibes. It reframes your experience as an expectation that a session will "fix something", and then if it doesn't, that "it didn't work". Relationship Coaching is similar to working with a personal trainer; you learn technique, get feedback, and are guided during sessions, AND it is the consistent application of those techniques BETWEEN sessions that brings results.
- Three months requires you to frame your expectations that change takes time. It frees you from making relationship decisions day-to-day, and provides you with a framework to implement tools and calibrate the effect, with ongoing coaching & support.
- I don't vibe with sales fuckery. I spend a lot of time reading and learning about influence, decision making, and human behaviour. The more we understand about HOW we engage with the world, the more clarity we have about the CHOICES we make. It is impossible to not employ tactics of influence. We ALL do it on the daily. However, I choose to not implement tools like "the three package choice" or whatever other pricing & sales techniques I know. Just one package, based on what I believe is the minimum block that you need to get relationship results.
HOW LONG WILL WE NEED TO WORK WITH YOU?
The short answer is: I don't know. There are many factors that influence this, and each couple is unique.
There are a few common ways my clients approach this;
1 or 2 specific issues. These couples have a few issues that they need to shake out, and simply need some guidance. Within the scope of our sessions they develop the skills required to move forwards and manage their challenges as a team.
More issues. For couples with more complicated issues or a longer history, 6 sessions may not be long enough to work through their priorities.
In this instance I suggest completing the first 3 months, then taking a short break to continue to implement what you have learned. The next steps are to decide between individual sessions, or another block of couples work. This will depend on your unique circumstances and we will collaborate on these options.
Some couples find that at this point our work together is complete, which is wonderful. Other couples like to book in from time-to-time for some 'maintenance', or to resolve a specific issue that arises.
Navigating Separation. Some couples decide that they no longer want to remain together. There are times when that is a healthy happy choice, and for some reason they still need to have ongoing collaborative contact (perhaps they are co-parents, own a business, or share a community). In that circumstance I strongly recommend relationship coaching to provide support as you work through the scope of your future interactions so that you maintain respect & kindness between you.
HOW MUCH IS A PROGRAM?
A 3 month program is $387 per month, for 3 months. So, $1161.
You can pay that however your pay cycle rolls (weekly, fortnightly, monthly).
That works out to be around one session per fortnight, but there is lots of flexibility to take that over a longer time to allow for the inevitabilities of life!
Again, see above re: sales fuckery.
DO YOU OFFER PAYMENT PLANS?
This is new for me in 2021 because I am committed to accessibility for everyone who needs support in their relationship.
Longer-term, shame-free, no extra cost payment plans are available, no questions asked. If $387 per month is beyond your budget, we'll work something out! Don't let money be the thing that holds you back.
WHY DO YOU HATE SALES FUCKERY?
- Because noone should ever be shamed, tricked, bullied, manipulated, or coerced into believing you need fixing, and that buying something will fix you.
- Because NO program will ever be the answer to you finding happiness, nor the answer to your yearning.
- Because I no longer want to contribute to the noise.
- Because I don't want to punish you for not having money.
- Because money should not be a barrier to accessing support for your relationship.
- Because Capitalism requires that some people hold wealth while others are oppressed, and that is not my jam.
I'm actively working to communicate in a way that strikes a balance between generosity in education, gentle reminders, and supportive enquiry. I'm actively working to rewrite all my shit and take out the push, the nudge, the sell. It's hard (because capitalism) and also because that balance is different for each of you.
I’m inviting you now to help me to get that right, by replying to give me thoughtful feedback.
DO YOU DO ONLINE CONSULTS, AND WORK WITH CLIENTS FROM INTERSTATE OR OVERSEAS?
Online consults are a life-saver for couples & individual clients. No need to travel, find baby sitters, or juggle busy calendars. I use Zoom.
It also means that we can work together regardless of your geographic location.
For my interstate and overseas clients, please be sure to select the right timezone when you book your sessions!
ARE YOU LOCATED IN THE NEWCASTLE, LAKE MACQUARIE, AND HUNTER VALLEY?
I see clients face-to-face from my office in Toronto in the beautiful Lake Macquarie region, on the land of the Awabakal people.
Parking is easy, and we have a beautiful and private space that overlooks bush land to hold our sessions.
I acknowledge that this land on which I live & work belongs to the Aboriginal people known as the Awabakal. Sovereignty has never been ceded, they are the custodians of this land. I pay my deep respects to Elders past and present, and future.
WHO DO YOU WORK WITH?
Let me position myself so you can be clearer on whether I am a good fit;
I am a white, married, middle-class, cis-hetero, able bodied woman, living with chronic fatigue & ADHD.
I invite people of all intersections who feel like my approach & style is a good fit for them.
A good way to establish whether we are a good fit, is for us to have a chat on the phone. You will get a better sense of how I am, and have an opportunity to ask any questions. I will be able to get clear on whether your challenges fit with my skillset, and we can work out a plan to work together or I will refer you to someone I think is a better fit.
WHO DON'T YOU WORK WITH?
I am not a psychologist, counsellor, nor a trauma therapist.
If you are navigating issues including addiction, mental illness, or complex psychological issues, then I am not the best fit for you.
Part of the purpose of our Meet & Greet is for me to get clear on what outcomes you are seeking, and whether that fits within the scope of my work in relationship coaching. If we decide that it doesn't, I will refer you to someone who does that work where possible.
Tara was able to provide us with some really usefully and tangible tools and info to work with. The outcomes for us were that we were able to really highlight the things that are important to us and put into perspective the trivial things.
Another point that was extremely useful was the different ways that we receive information and the way that we feel appreciated and loved which can be very different for each of us. I would recommend her services for couples at various times in there relationship especially for those that may have lost their way.
Steve Haran & Chris Mostyn*