Recommended Resources

Book on bare legs with tea and pine tree

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

People are always asking me "what can I read?"

The long answer is: there are many valuable resources for relationships. The helpfulness depends on your personal experience and your desire, capacity, and efficacy of implementation. You may, in fact, be solving the wrong problem. That is, you have self diagnosed something in your relationship, and the true source of your issues is something else. No book will help with this.

I read and incorporate many works into my personal & professional practices. Some provide me with distinctions. Some depth. Some show me what it is that I don't want to share. Some underscore old paradigms and do more harm than good. All of this is like, just my opinion, man.

This is a work in progress, and as a result I will add or remove items whenever I like.

Here are my criteria for inclusion;

  • I have personally read, watched, heard, used, or experienced this resource
  • This resource is in alignment with my values
  • There is broad enough appeal to this content that most people will find it helpful
  • I LOVE this content and think it is key for deep connection
  • The content is aimed at individuals & couples in relationship (rather than being professional skills based)

TL;DR: Read widely. IMPLEMENT actions. Calibrate. Repeat.





  • Michaela Boehm | The Wild Woman's Way
  • Lou Paget | How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure
  • Lou Paget | How to Be a Great Lover
  • Brene Brown | Dare to Lead
  • Brene Brown | Braving the Wilderness
  • Esther Perel | Mating in Captivity
  • Esther Perel | The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
  • Cheryl Strayed | Dear Sugar
  • John Gottman | The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Gary Chapman | The 5 Love Languages
  • The Body is Not an Apology | Sonya Renee Taylor
  • We Do | Stan Tatkin
  • Attached | Dr Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller
  • Dr Alexandra Solomon | Loving Bravely