My friend Tash the dog trainer has clients who have 1 session with her and don’t understand why their dog is still doing the thing. They haven’t done the daily training and expect the resolution of the issue to happen in the room with her. Meanwhile THEY still behave in the same way. They reinforce all the undesired behaviours, and are unwilling to invest the time upfront.
In the early days, something that should be quick and simple can take 4 -5 times longer because we are all learning the building blocks to do the new thing.
My friend Han the yoga teacher has clients who come to a class and don’t understand why their body is still doing the thing. They haven’t done a daily practice and expect their body to unwind in the studio with her. Meanwhile, THEY still behave in the same way. They reinforce all their movement patterns and are unwilling to explore their bodies gently.
In the early days, there can be many layers of unwinding within your body, and this cannot be rushed. A daily exploration provides the building blocks for release.
My friend Cody the naturopath has clients who have come for a consultation and don’t understand why their health isn’t where they want it to be. They haven’t implemented the small changes to their lifestyle that will, over time, move them towards their goals. In the meantime, THEY are still leading their high-stress lifestyle and are unwilling to change the way they do things
In the early days, there may be a number of issues that are the building blocks for love before the larger issue can be addressed.
You’re picking up what I’m putting down, yeah?
The Building Blocks for Love
The resolution of your dog’s behaviour requires a skill that is made of smaller building blocks. Without the little things, the bigger issue remains. It can be frustrating to feel like the thing you are doing isn’t the one you want to… but it’s the fundamentals that will make it possible.
The release of the trauma & tension in your fascia happens incrementally. Without the little practices, the bigger issue remains. It can feel so slow and like you aren’t getting anywhere, but it’s the practice that creates the safety that your body requires.
The healing of your body will lead to wellness, and it happens with consistency. Without the daily routines, the bigger issue remains. At times you may be focusing on something that seems tangential, but needs to be addressed before you can move forward.
I work with couples who want to resolve large issues. Infidelity. Financial ruin. Domestic Roles. They come and have a session with me and want to launch right into the Thing that Needs Fixing.
We talk, we learn, and I teach them the building blocks required for connection. They don’t do the daily actions, and expect to come back for the next session to resolve the issue. Meanwhile THEY still behave in the same way. They treat each other with contempt, or like adversaries, or are unwilling to give an inch to create connection.
In the early days, you may not FEEL like you want to act in a loving way. You want to get right in and solve the thing. But as with my friends, so it is here. The things that should happen quickly & easily might be slow because we are learning a new thing. The unwinding of trauma & tension cannot be rushed. There may be a number of issues that require individual resolution before the next thing can be addressed.
I can tell very quickly who is going to make it, and it isn’t because of the problems they have. It is because one (or both) partners are wholeheartedly committed to doing the work. No matter how they feel. However long it takes. Without needing to be “right“.
Are you ready to get back to basics?