Boundaries and Brain Function

Why intuition, structural pattenring can make you think its bad when it's oppression, why discomfort is important.


What is my physiology of discomfort?

What is my physiology of unsafe?

Do i FEEL unsafe but am actually safe? - pendulate and process

Do I FEEL unsafe and AM unsafe?

Do I FEEL uncomfortable AND am unsafe?

Do I FEEL uncomfortable but AM safe?

Do I FEEL comfortable and am UNSAFE?

Do I FEEL comfortable and am SAFE?

This is "understand your fear response"
This is also "how to regulate that"
Refer to the list of responses in resonant leadership. also talk about physiological repsonse - so you will have;
*felt response, *behavioural response * typical thought patterns you can scale these in terms of escalation.

Questions to ask to identify;

  • Do I feel unsafe? or uncomfortable?
  • What is the difference?
  • Am I feeling proactive? (like it's hard, but that I can address it  - I have a strategy and my physiology is below threshold)
  • Am I feeling reactive? (Energy is lower, perhaps mental clarity not there, feels unfair or unjust, 
  • Am I in survival mode? (Physiology is flooded. Need to give yourself time, space, and matter (care))
  • What are the situations that trigger me to feel unsafe?
  • Are there words, actions, behaviours that trigger me to feel unsafe?
  • How will I communicate this to my partner?

Talk about slow love 30 and why important
non linear movement and why important
build safety plan

keep moving - use a spiky ball, roll a ball, wiggle toes.

Here is the survival / reactive / proactive chart and activity.

Maybe make it a rainy day thing?

Early signs that my partnner is stressed are;

(same as the personal one)

Reflection Questions

Planting Seeds

Planting the seeds of ideas.

Daily Rituals

Nurturing Love

Nurturing your love.


Structure to Soar

Structure to soar high.

These questions, rituals, and actions are designed to facilitate your personal exploration & expansion in your relationship.

There is no prescribed "outcome". The purpose is to