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SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

The decision to stay or go is complex & nuanced.

It’s not as simple as writing a lists of pros and cons, in fact, there is no 'right' answer. Any decision you make will be challenging and rewarding in different ways, so it's important to explore all the possibilities before you make a decision that you can’t unmake.

This guide frames some considerations, and shares the commonalities for individuals & couples who are also trying to decide: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

alternative couples therapy image for mobiles

ALTERNATIVE COUPLES THERAPY FOR NEWCASTLE, LAKE MACQUARIE, & THE HUNTER

Couples Therapy as a path to collective liberation...

Couples Therapy as a path to collective liberation...

Couples therapy is my contribution to making the world a better place-

I believe that the path to collective liberation is through deeply connected & curious relationships.

Developing self-awareness & relational skills through couples therapy means we can level-up our engagements in all our relationships, thereby transforming our families and communities from the micro to the macro.

It's about moving toward intimate, family, and community relationships with;

  • invitations to dialogue
  • celebration of differences
  • strength based contribution
  • contribution according to capacity
  • reciprocity on a broader scale than 1:1
  • collaborative & creative approaches
  • and mutual aid.

Couples therapy is my contribution to making the world a better place-

I believe that the path to collective liberation is through deeply connected & curious relationships.

Developing self-awareness & relational skills through couples therapy means we can level-up our engagements in all our relationships, thereby transforming our families and communities from the micro to the macro.

It's about moving toward intimate, family, and community relationships with;

* invitations to dialogue

*celebration of differences

*strength based contribution

*contribution according to capacity

*reciprocity on a broader scale than 1:1

*collaborative & creative approaches

*and mutual aid.

Are you ready to EXPLORE and EXPERIMENT so you can generate your own solutions?

Are you ready to EXPLORE and EXPERIMENT so you can generate your own solutions?

Whenever two people come together there will be contrasts.

The deepest work in couples therapy for each partner is discerning  “Where can I bring grace & generosity to accepting this contrast will persist? Where am I ready to engage & generate solutions? And where is this, in fact, intolerable?" 

My orientation to couples therapy is that our work is PRACTICE based. That means that within sessions you will receive education and tools to support your understanding of relationships. Together we'll design experiments that allow you to explore your experience of what it means to relate. Not from a preconceived template, but from your unique relational dynamics. Between sessions you will implement, then bring back feedback that inform our next steps.

The insights & answers will come from you, and be for you. That means that the solutions you find will be distinctive to you & your partner.

Whenever two people come together there will be contrasts.

The deepest work in couples therapy for each partner is discerning  “Where can I bring grace & generosity to accepting this contrast will persist? Where am I ready to engage & generate solutions? And where is this, in fact, intolerable?" 

My orientation to couples therapy is that our work is PRACTICE based. That means that within sessions you will receive education and tools to support your understanding of relationships. Together we'll design experiments that allow you to explore your experience of what it means to relate. Not from a preconceived template, but from your unique relational dynamics. Between sessions you will implement, then bring back feedback that inform our next steps.

The insights & answers will come from you, and be for you. That means that the solutions you find will be distinctive to you & your partner.

Your relationship challenges don't belong TO either of you, they exist BETWEEN you.

Your relationship challenges don't belong TO either of you, they exist BETWEEN you.

Relationship challenges are found in the dynamics BETWEEN people. They are the result of your differences in culture, family, lived experience, intersections in identities, and other contextual elements that have influenced each of your personalities and approaches to life.

We can do endless couples therapy about the CONTENT of your relationship (personal histories, challenges, strengths, dreams) but without acknowledging the CONTEXT of your lives we're being dangerously reductive. Suggesting that relationship strategy will change your circumstances is bullshit.

AND those challenges don't define your relational compatibility! In fact, a longitudinal study has shown that there's no difference in objective compatibility between couples who are happy or unhappy;

Compatibility is NOT the thing.

The most important factor is  your understanding of those differences and contextual influences, and the way you CHOOSE to navigate them together. Unless you understand the deeper roots of those dynamics,  you will continue to cycle through highs and lows...  always returning to the same old unresolved shit.

Relationship challenges are found in the dynamics BETWEEN people. They are the result of your differences in culture, family, lived experience, intersections in identities, and other contextual elements that have influenced each of your personalities and approaches to life.

We can do endless couples therapy about the CONTENT of your relationship (personal histories, challenges, strengths, dreams) but without acknowledging the CONTEXT of your lives we're being dangerously reductive. Suggesting that relationship strategy will change your circumstances is bullshit.

AND those challenges don't define your relational compatibility! In fact, a longitudinal study has shown that there's no difference in objective compatibility between couples who are happy or unhappy;

Compatibility is NOT the thing.

The most important factor is  your understanding of those differences and contextual influences, and the way you CHOOSE to navigate them together. Unless you understand the deeper roots of those dynamics,  you will continue to cycle through highs and lows...  always returning to the same old unresolved shit.

How do we GET STARTED?

How do we GET STARTED?

When you decide to do couples therapy, it is crucial that you like your practitioner and feel like they "get" you.

It’s also really important that BOTH partners choose the therapist you will be working with. That way we're all on the same page.

That's why the first step is for us to have a phone conversation. I do this with you first, and then if you want to proceed with couples therapy I will also speak with your partner.

It gives us all an opportunity to see if we are a good fit, and allows you to ask any questions you may have. That usually takes about 20-30 minutes (depending on your questions!). -

So:

  1. Book a Meet & Greet for YOU
  2. We'll talk about what's happening & how I roll.
  3. Your partner books a Meet & Greet
  4. We all decide if we're a good fit.
  5. If yes, we get started. If not, I'll help you find the right couples therapist!

👇 You can book that directly into my calendar here 👇.

When you decide to do couples therapy, it is crucial that you like your practitioner and feel like they "get" you.

It’s also really important that BOTH partners choose the therapist you will be working with. That way we're all on the same page.

That's why the first step is for us to have a phone conversation. I do this with you first, and then if you want to proceed with couples therapy I will also speak with your partner.

It gives us all an opportunity to see if we are a good fit, and allows you to ask any questions you may have. That usually takes about 20-30 minutes (depending on your questions!). -

So:

1. Book a Meet & Greet for YOU

2. We'll talk about what's happening & how I roll.

3. Your partner books a Meet & Greet

4. We all decide if we're a good fit.

5. If yes, we get started. If not, I'll help you find the right couples therapist!

👇 You can book that directly into my calendar here 👇.

Get your free copy of Should I Stay or Should I Go

should i stay or should i go

The decision to stay or go is complex & nuanced.

It’s not as simple as writing a lists of pros and cons, in fact, there is no 'right' answer. Any decision you make will be challenging and rewarding in different ways, so it's important to explore all the possibilities before you make a decision that you can’t unmake.

This guide frames some considerations, and shares the commonalities for individuals & couples who are also trying to decide: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”