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SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

The decision to stay or go is complex & nuanced.

It’s not as simple as writing a lists of pros and cons, in fact, there is no 'right' answer. Any decision you make will be challenging and rewarding in different ways, so it's important to explore all the possibilities before you make a decision that you can’t unmake.

This guide frames some considerations, and shares the commonalities for individuals & couples who are also trying to decide: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING ALTERNATIVE - RELATIONSHIP COACHING FOR NEWCASTLE, LAKE MACQUARIE, THE CENTRAL COAST, & SYDNEY

Should I Stay or Should I Go eBook

Get your free copy of Should I Stay or Should I Go

The decision to stay or go is complex & nuanced.

It’s not as simple as writing a lists of pros and cons, in fact, there is no 'right' answer. Any decision you make will be challenging and rewarding in different ways, so it's important to explore all the possibilities before you make a decision that you can’t unmake.

This guide frames some considerations, and shares the commonalities for individuals & couples who are also trying to decide: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

EXPLORING NEW RELATIONSHIP PARADIGMS: Experiments in Creativity & Collaboration

I believe that the path to collective liberation is through deeply connected & curious relationships. By developing relational self-awareness, we shift our own position in each of our interactions, thereby transforming our families and communities from the micro to the macro.

This doesn't happen by trouble shooting domestic logistics, unpacking attachment styles & family histories, or by learning good boundaries (although all of that is important)...

It requires fundamentally redefining our understanding of and relationship to: reciprocity & contribution,  productivity & commerce, meaning & legacy, sex & eroticism, commitment & conflict, power & consent, play & work, independence & freedom, and love & intimacy.

It's about moving toward intimate, family, and community relationships with;

  • invitations to dialogue
  • celebration of differences
  • strength based contribution
  • equity according to capacity
  • reciprocity on a broader scale than 1:1
  • collaborative & creative approaches
  • and mutual aid.

Your relationship challenges don't belong TO either of you, they exist BETWEEN you.

Relationship challenges are found in the dynamics BETWEEN people. They are the result of your differences in culture, family, lived experience, intersections in identities, and other contextual elements that create each of your approaches to life. In fact, a longitudinal study has shown that there's no difference in objective compatibility between couples who are happy or unhappy. Compatibility is NOT a thing.

We can talk all day about the CONTENT of your relationship (challenges, strengths, dreams) but without acknowledging the CONTEXT of your lives we're being dangerously reductive. Suggesting that relationship strategy will change your circumstances is bullshit.

The most important factor is  your understanding of those differences and contextual influences, and the way you CHOOSE to navigate them together. Until you understand the deeper roots of those contexts and dynamics,  you will continue to replay that same old programming.

Are you ready to learn TOOLS and STRATEGIES so you know what to DO, instead of just talking about problems?

Given that 69% of relationship issues are unsolvable, wherever we build connection we will also find contrasts.

The deepest work in navigating these differences, is discerning for yourself “can I bring grace & generosity to accepting this contrast will persist? Can we engage & explore strategy? Or is this, in fact, intolerable?

My orientation towards working with couples is that our sessions are SKILLS based. In each program you will receive education, tools, and practices that allow you to explore your own experience of what it means to relate.

That means that the solutions you find will be unique to you & your partner.

Which modalities inform your work?

I am a Relationship Coach, a certified NLP Practitioner, and an internationally accredited extended-DISC Consultant.

I have directly learned from and/or been mentored by; Alice Haemmerle, Michaela Boehm, Steve James, Chelsea Alexis Gabriel, and Bear Hebert.

I have indirectly learned from (through online workshops and certifications); Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Instant Insight Communication Systems™, Nkem Ndefo & Rae Johnson, Dr Alexandra Solomon, .

I am informed & inspired by the published work, online education, and content from;  Brené Brown, Esther Perel,  Dr Leslie Greenberg

Bringing my own mix of life experience and study, I take an experiential approach, incorporating embodiment practices alongside curious conversations to guide couples & individuals to discover their own unique dynamics.

How do we GET STARTED?

Whichever modality you choose, whether it is marriage counselling, relationship coaching, or another form of couples therapy, it is important that you like your practitioner and feel like they "get" you.

It’s also really important that BOTH partners meet & choose the practitioner you will be working with. That way we are all on the same page from the get go.

That is why the first step is for us to have a phone conversation. It gives us all an opportunity to see if we are a good fit, and allows you to ask any questions you may have. That usually takes about 15 - 20 minutes (depending on your questions!).

👇 You can book that directly into my calendar here 👇.